From time to time I give myself a “manliness test”, to see if I still have what it takes! The truth be told, I always fail these tests, but because of the fact that I tried, I give myself a passing grade. Usually, these tests involve camping alone in the land of “banjo music”.

On one of these occasions, I was camping by a small creek in the North Georgia woods. I had a beautiful fire burning right next to the creek, and I enjoyed a time of communion with God. Then I spent the night full of terror as I kept hearing the screams of Ned off in the distance. I have learned that being a real man of courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to fight and not allow the fear to rule over me. So I fought through the fear, not wanting to wear the shame of driving back to our cabin and asking my wife to hold me as I sucked my thumb.

In the morning I awoke and realized that I had survived the night without being assaulted-or mauled by a bear! There is nothing sweeter than a warm fire in the morning after a sleepless night of fear, so with the cool midst coming off the creek and the birds greeting the sun with their songs of joy, I began to restart the fire. Starting a fire that still has hot coals is a very easy task-all you need to do is add some fresh sticks near the coals and blow on the embers. This, of course, requires getting very close to the coals while on your hands and knees so that your breath will reach the coals. As I blew and the coals began to glow and ignite the kindling, a bright flame appeared and with it a huge snake leaped out of the fire right at me! It was not one of my most manly moments, as I screamed like a little girl and cussed like an old sailor. I am not sure who was more scared, me or the snake.

This snake had found a safe, warm bed for the night. The fire had died off making it safe to curl up next to and enjoy the warm afterglow. After calming down with a few cups of camping coffee, I had a time of reflection about this experience. Here are some of my insights from this Ugly Fire.

1. A cool fire is a dangerous place. Sin loves to hide in the heart of a believer who has let their passion for Jesus die out. It opens the door in our lives for evil to hide in us when we are not “cold or hot, but just lukewarm”. (Rev. 3:15) Satan can do more harm with a believer who is no longer on fire for Jesus than a lost pagan. We may have been hot for Jesus years ago, but now we are just living off the afterglow. Past memories of great spiritual experiences are nice, but they give no fire to warm our hearts today.

2. There is no greater way to clean our hearts out than to reignite our passion for Jesus. To try to drive out the enemy with religious activity is a waste of time. It would have been like me screaming at the fire to drive out the snake. All it took was some fresh air, and the flames did the rest. Attempting to get believers to do the things that it requires to be spiritual is so much easier when they are motivated by their love for Jesus. Having a burning passion for the things of God gives us strength to resist the pull of the things of this world.

3. It is not as hard as it seems to restart a cool fire. It requires some new wood, close contact, and fresh air. The new wood is the ignitable material, the Word of God. The close contact is our humbling of ourselves to say, “Please Lord, send fresh fire,” and the fresh air is the wind of His Spirit moving on the coals of our hearts. There is an old tradition of an unwritten statement of Jesus, “He who is near me is near the fire”. We do not have to create a fire-only press into Jesus who is “a consuming fire”. (Heb.12:29)

4. Do not be shocked when you press into the Lord to light your fire again, and a large snake jumps out! Evil cannot stand the presence of the Lord. You cannot have a heart on fire for Jesus and a heart that is filled with sin-it will put out your passion for Him. You do not need to focus so much on the sin that needs to go, as you do on the fire that needs to grow brighter. Walking in the light will both reveal our darkness and cleanse our hearts. (1 John 1:7)

5. The Apostle Paul had some words of wisdom for a young pastor he was mentoring that it was his responsibility to keep his fire burning bright for Jesus. “I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God…” (2 Tim.1:6 ) We must take personal responsibility for the fire in our hearts. We cannot live off the warmth of the fire of others, we must have our own passionate love for Jesus. The Lord can use the fire in the heart of others to help re-ignite our hearts, hanging out with people on fire for Jesus is essential to keep our hearts on fire.

6. One of my favorite books is the Pilgrims Progress by John Bunyan, which is an allegory of the Christian life. I have an old picture illustrating one of the experiences the main character Pilgrim has when he visits “The Interpreters House”. He is shown a wall with a huge fire coming out of it, but the devil is standing there pouring water on the fire-yet the fire is not extinguished. The Interpreter (representing the Holy Spirit) takes Pilgrim to the other side of the wall where he sees the secret of why the fire will not go out; it is Jesus standing over the fire with a small vile of oil pouring it on the fire. God’s oil to keep our fire burning is much stronger than the evil one’s water that tries to extinguish it. We must keep our eyes on the oil of the Spirit and not be discouraged by dampening waters of the evil one. “Many waters cannot quench your love” (Song of Songs 8:7).

How is your fire burning? Beware of a cool fire, bad things hide in it. Take some time to add some fresh fuel on your fire by spending time with Jesus and His word. Invite Him to breathe on your embers and pour out the oil of His Spirit, re-igniting your fire. There is no greater defense of evil than a heart on fire for Jesus.

Come fire of God burn in me, ignite my passions for eternity.
 
Like this post? Share it with your friends:

I was giving my new buddy Daniel (see Ugly Dancing here) a ride home from church in my jeep and I asked him about his story. He seemed uncertain what I meant and did not respond, so I asked some specific questions about his background and he briefly answered each question. I was trying to work up the courage to ask him about his disabilities. I do not have any experience with special needs people and it may not be appropriate to ask them, but I wanted to know what kind of disability he had. With the wind blowing on us from the topless jeep I cautiously asked him what his disability was. He stared down at the floor, not answering-I was afraid I had hurt him. Then the unexpected happened. He looked up, stared right in my face, and bluntly asked “so what are your disabilities?” I nearly ran off the road! I felt like I had been punched in the gut and was trying to get my breath.

What are my disabilities? I had never been asked that, I had never considered that I might have disabilities. Without thinking the answer that came out of my mouth completely surprised me, but seemed to satisfy Daniel. “I am sure I have lots of disabilities”. He moved on to a far more important question, “what do you think about those high gas prices?”

I cannot get his question-and how the tables were turned on me-out of my mind. I went from being the pastor with all the wisdom to being the counselee! I am far more comfortable in the roll of the teacher or counselor than I am sitting in the hot seat with the light shining on me. What are my disabilities! Did he just spin this back on me? Was he as certain of my disabilities as I was of his? Did he just feel sorry for me for not being more like him? Could this be God using a very simple man with a very high pitched voice to speak to me?

The question, “What are your disabilities?” makes the assumption you have already judged them as being disabled-leaving the only option-for someone to acknowledge them. It is much like asking someone if they have stopped beating their wife. I realize now I could have asked, “Daniel do you have any disabilities?” He may be completely unaware of being different or he may think everyone else is weird and he is normal. More likely though, he just accepts others as they are without trying to diagnose and label them, hoping others will do the same to him. He reminds me of one of my favorite movie characters, Forest Gump. I have always felt Forest is a great example of a childlike Christ follower. Forest would say “I may be a simple man, but I know what love is.” We all need that kind of disability!

What are my disabilities? I have come to discover that one of my greatest disabilities is not thinking I have any. It is so easy to see the deficiencies and flaws in others, but mine all seem so acceptable. It is like trying to smell your own breath (which is nearly impossible). It requires an honest friend, a Daniel, to lovingly open our eyes. Even the Apostle Paul celebrated the fact of having a “thorn in the flesh”, a disability that gave him the awareness of desperately needing God’s grace. (2Cor. 12:7-10) When we are strong, without apparent disabilities, we live in a prideful self-confidence that leaves no room for God in our lives. When we are weak and aware of it, we know we must depend of His grace, which invites God into our lives. (I call this the Power of Ugly)

Jesus warned us to first take care of the large wood beam in our eyes before we attempt to help a friend take a small speck of dust out of their eye. (Mat.7:3-5) It would be a painful experience to have a two-by-four sticking out of our heads, beating the person we are attempting to help with their problems. In fact, Jesus describes this as hypocritical and warns us to get the beam out of our eye first before we attempt to help another with their disabilities. Looking into the mirror is far more challenging than picking the weakness out in others. I am sure the Lord would have been far more pleased if I first told Daniel some of my weaknesses and disabilities before assaulting him with my beam.

Far too many Christians have the reputation of judging others and pointing out the evils in the world around us, blinded to their own sins. They are much like a person walking through a hospital shouting at people telling them they are all sick! We must learn to be like Dr. Jesus who “came to heal those who were sick”. (Mark 2:17) In fact, Jesus has nothing to offer those who have no disabilities-it is only the broken, the sinful, the weak, the lost, and the nobodies that He came to save. There is not a more difficult group of people to reach than those who feel they are good people. Rarely do people seek out a doctor when they feel healthy; no it is the sick that look for a healer. The only hope for those who are blinded to their need for healing is an “Epiphany of Weakness”. It is a gift to have our eyes opened to our true condition, revealing how desperately disabled we are. Only when we understand how sick we are will we seek for Doctor Jesus, who alone has the cure.

When I dropped Daniel off at his apartment, he got out, walking fast, as usual with his head down and he said “thank you for being my friend”. With tears in my eyes, I choked out the words, “No, thank you for being my friend”. I need him far more than he needs me! “God chose the weak things of this world to shame the strong”. (1 Cor. 1:27)

So what are your disabilities?
 
Like this post? Share it with your friends:

I wanted to scream “nooooo!” but it was too late. She jumped! I was at a Christian concert and stage diving was in vogue-something I am grateful was not around in the 70’s. Several kids had jumped off the stage and their friends caught them, and so this rather large girl decided to join in the fun. With great faith in the crowd, she leaped off the stage. As she was in her mid-air flight, she had the horror of witnessing everyone scatter. She face planted on the ground, bounced, and rolled to a stop. I must confess that I was conflicted between inappropriate laughter and compassion for her; of course the laughter won out.

The song “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” sounds so sweet, but is far from the truth. Most of us carry a lot of baggage and make for heavy lifting. Jesus tells the story of a crippled man that was unable to get to Him for healing on his own, but he was blessed to have four friends who carried him to Jesus (Mark 2:3). These friends go to great lengths to help their friend, they even “dug a ditch” in a roof to get him to Jesus. (See Ugly Ditches) The fact that Mark tells us that it took four friends to carry this guy makes me wonder if he was a big dude. These guys were straining under the dead weight of their friend, probably praying, “O God, O God, O God, Help”-as they sang “He is so heavy, but he’s my brother”.

I will confess, I am a heavy load for my friends. I often remind them, “it costs to be my friend.” I am so blessed to have a number of really good friends in my life who have, on many occasions, helped carry me to Jesus. I know these friends are a gift from God, but I have had to cultivate these friendships. Proverbs tells us that “he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed” (11:25). Friends may come into your life by the providence of God, and He expects us to be friendly and to serve others without putting expectations on them. Nothing will ruin a friendship quicker than unhealthy expectations.

Loneliness is a plague in our hooked up society. We may have acquaintances, but few friends. Again Proverbs warns, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (18:24). The question is not how many people do you know, or how many “facebook friends” do you have, but who are you investing in as a friend without expecting something in return. Friendships take time, and are deepened through hard times. It has been in the dark places of my life where my deepest friendships have been forged. Seeing me in all my ugliness and still loving me, “A friend loves at all times.” (Pro. 17:17)

You might ask,” How many friends do you need?” My answer is how heavy are you? The bigger the load you are, the greater number of friends you need. I know I am heavy, requiring many strong friends. That obligates me to do a lot of heavy lifting for others, investing in them and acting as a friend. We must sow friendship to reap friends. You must catch stage divers before you expect to be caught!

There are no perfect friends out there, only broken people who are just like you. If you are expecting someone to never hurt you or let you down-a pretty friend-you are going to be greatly disillusioned. Only Jesus is a friend that will never fail us. All my friends are Ugly, because I am Ugly. We show each other grace to cover our weaknesses with a “love that covers a multitude of sin” (1 Peter 4:8). Here is one of my Ugly Friends reviews of my book The Power of Ugly:

“I once read this, ‘Friendship is like a prism through which the many variations of beauty are revealed in our lives.’ Jamie Stilson has been one of those great friends ever since I first met him nearly twenty-five years ago. But in this case, he has been the kind of friend that has helped reveal the ‘ugly’ in my own life. Whether traveling to Africa together or just doing lunch together every Monday for the last fourteen years, Jamie has shown me how to take God seriously without taking myself too seriously. Jamie has helped me to see my own ugliness and my need of God’s humbling grace. I absolutely loved reading his book, The Power of Ugly, because it so represents who he is-authentic, earthy, funny, insightful and in love with Jesus. This is a must read, you will laugh and you will cry. You will be challenged and you will be blessed. For sure, you will get a fresh new view of your ugly self and of God’s beautiful grace.” Dennis Gingerich, Founding Pastor Cape Christian Fellowship, Cape Coral, FL.

There are few people who, like Dennis, know all my ugliness and still love me. It is so humbling to have friends like him. Beautiful friends who never have a weakness are usually artificial, superficial and terrible stage diving catchers. Give me any ugly friend who loves me in spite of all my weaknesses any day over a fake pretty friend.

Here is a simple friendship test:

1. You need to move-who do you call to help pack? Who have you helped move?

2. You have two tickets to the NBA playoffs who do you bring? (assuming your wife hates b-ball).

3. Your teenager has not come home and it is 3 in the a.m., who do you call? (excluding the police and your pastor)

4. Who do you pray for regularly? Who are you aware of that prays for you?

5. Who will serve as pal-bearers at your memorial? Whose funeral have you attended?

6. If you are extremely sick, lying in a bed in Africa with only your tighty-whities on, who will dare to come in and pray for you?

7. Who do you tell your struggles, fears, and sins to?

8. Who will catch you if you go stage diving?

Let me end with a short list of some of my burden-bearing ugly friends who know I am ugly and heavy, but still choose to carry me. Bobby H. (36 yrs.), Dennis G. (25 yrs.), Jorge A (16 yrs.), Bob H. (12 yrs.) ,Jeff S. (5 yrs.), David C. (12 yrs.), David R. (16 yrs.), Bob M. (33 yrs.), Kevin F. (20 yrs.), Gary S. (32 yrs.), Steve L. (20 yrs.), Charles M. (30 yrs.). You all have helped carry me to Jesus to find healing, your love has covered a multitude of my sins and my life is richer because of you. Thank you my ugly brothers from another mother.
 
Like this post? Share it with your friends: