I was giving my new buddy Daniel (see Ugly Dancing here) a ride home from church in my jeep and I asked him about his story. He seemed uncertain what I meant and did not respond, so I asked some specific questions about his background and he briefly answered each question. I was trying to work up the courage to ask him about his disabilities. I do not have any experience with special needs people and it may not be appropriate to ask them, but I wanted to know what kind of disability he had. With the wind blowing on us from the topless jeep I cautiously asked him what his disability was. He stared down at the floor, not answering-I was afraid I had hurt him. Then the unexpected happened. He looked up, stared right in my face, and bluntly asked “so what are your disabilities?” I nearly ran off the road! I felt like I had been punched in the gut and was trying to get my breath.
What are my disabilities? I had never been asked that, I had never considered that I might have disabilities. Without thinking the answer that came out of my mouth completely surprised me, but seemed to satisfy Daniel. “I am sure I have lots of disabilities”. He moved on to a far more important question, “what do you think about those high gas prices?”
I cannot get his question-and how the tables were turned on me-out of my mind. I went from being the pastor with all the wisdom to being the counselee! I am far more comfortable in the roll of the teacher or counselor than I am sitting in the hot seat with the light shining on me. What are my disabilities! Did he just spin this back on me? Was he as certain of my disabilities as I was of his? Did he just feel sorry for me for not being more like him? Could this be God using a very simple man with a very high pitched voice to speak to me?
The question, “What are your disabilities?” makes the assumption you have already judged them as being disabled-leaving the only option-for someone to acknowledge them. It is much like asking someone if they have stopped beating their wife. I realize now I could have asked, “Daniel do you have any disabilities?” He may be completely unaware of being different or he may think everyone else is weird and he is normal. More likely though, he just accepts others as they are without trying to diagnose and label them, hoping others will do the same to him. He reminds me of one of my favorite movie characters, Forest Gump. I have always felt Forest is a great example of a childlike Christ follower. Forest would say “I may be a simple man, but I know what love is.” We all need that kind of disability!
What are my disabilities? I have come to discover that one of my greatest disabilities is not thinking I have any. It is so easy to see the deficiencies and flaws in others, but mine all seem so acceptable. It is like trying to smell your own breath (which is nearly impossible). It requires an honest friend, a Daniel, to lovingly open our eyes. Even the Apostle Paul celebrated the fact of having a “thorn in the flesh”, a disability that gave him the awareness of desperately needing God’s grace. (2Cor. 12:7-10) When we are strong, without apparent disabilities, we live in a prideful self-confidence that leaves no room for God in our lives. When we are weak and aware of it, we know we must depend of His grace, which invites God into our lives. (I call this the Power of Ugly)
Jesus warned us to first take care of the large wood beam in our eyes before we attempt to help a friend take a small speck of dust out of their eye. (Mat.7:3-5) It would be a painful experience to have a two-by-four sticking out of our heads, beating the person we are attempting to help with their problems. In fact, Jesus describes this as hypocritical and warns us to get the beam out of our eye first before we attempt to help another with their disabilities. Looking into the mirror is far more challenging than picking the weakness out in others. I am sure the Lord would have been far more pleased if I first told Daniel some of my weaknesses and disabilities before assaulting him with my beam.
Far too many Christians have the reputation of judging others and pointing out the evils in the world around us, blinded to their own sins. They are much like a person walking through a hospital shouting at people telling them they are all sick! We must learn to be like Dr. Jesus who “came to heal those who were sick”. (Mark 2:17) In fact, Jesus has nothing to offer those who have no disabilities-it is only the broken, the sinful, the weak, the lost, and the nobodies that He came to save. There is not a more difficult group of people to reach than those who feel they are good people. Rarely do people seek out a doctor when they feel healthy; no it is the sick that look for a healer. The only hope for those who are blinded to their need for healing is an “Epiphany of Weakness”. It is a gift to have our eyes opened to our true condition, revealing how desperately disabled we are. Only when we understand how sick we are will we seek for Doctor Jesus, who alone has the cure.
When I dropped Daniel off at his apartment, he got out, walking fast, as usual with his head down and he said “thank you for being my friend”. With tears in my eyes, I choked out the words, “No, thank you for being my friend”. I need him far more than he needs me! “God chose the weak things of this world to shame the strong”. (1 Cor. 1:27)
So what are your disabilities?
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Powerful lesson!!!
I think back to the days when I had my first job the excitement in the air, the money so green, the victory of independence, the joy of a job well done what an amazing time. But in reality a time comes when it all wears off, and guess what reality sets in. I found myself complaining about my responsibilities and how nobody would be joyful and help. I found myself complaining about their complaining, then immediately i prayed…… not exactly I cursed and was frustrated as I cleaned the kitchen. Then suddenly a large amount of disinfectant shot into my eye, though not painful it made me stop. Then suddenly I heard “Look at the Log in your eye”. I was overwhelmed. The Lord spoke to me in a very clear way be diligent in your work, serve those around you, not for recognition but to serve like Jesus. In everyday life we have the opportunity for a meteor to strike the middle of our path so that we can start rethinking, but that takes observation, practice, and repentance. Are we listening to what the Father is saying?
Thanks for sharing what a wonderful powerful message!!!!
Superior sound doctrine.
Makes me think of how many people I need to say “thanks for being my friend” to.
I had a similar experience the other that day rocked my world. God used someone who was comfortable with themselves to teach me to “man up”. I was sitting around feeling sorry for myself, being consumed by fears of the future due to my newly diagnosed autoimmune disease. I was feeling pretty hopeless, pretty worn out, and of course this was a group night. So after I dried up my tears I put on my group leader smile and welcomed some new guests to our group. Towards the end of group we split up into guys and girls and started talking about our needs and struggles. One of the new girls to group that night had an obvious health problem, she was underdeveloped for her age and you could simply tell she was sick. She started talking about what was going on in her life, and you want to know what this girl who has had 13 surgeries in her 20 years of life, a few open heart operations, and skull reformations was most concerned about… she was sick of sitting at home being bored and needed some fun things to do with new people. This blew my mind… Here I was just an hour before crying because I had given up my hope of this just disappearing I was refusing the “limp” that God had given me, an issue far smaller than hers, and instead of feeling sorry for herself, this girl had “manned up” and was ready to enjoy what God had out there for me. She was comfortable with the fact that she had this issue, not that she or God wanted her to keep it, but was will to live with her “limp” as Paul would call it. I needed this girl and her friendship that night more than she could have ever needed me.
Gives me desire to work on my disabilities that I have choice to change. Starts with the Daniel question of exposure then Gods grace to walk out the changes. I’m humbled by the story and blessed for the enlightenment. Thank you for sharing!
What an amazing and awesome life lesson. Thanks Pastor Jamie.
“It is a gift to have our eyes opened to our true condition, revealing how desperately disabled we are.”
I thought “gift” was an amazing way to describe this because at the time our eyes are opened it doesn’t seem like a gift but in reality it is the best thing for us.
This is good.
Pride. I’m sure I have many disabilities, but just last night, I finally was able to name this struggle that I could tell was present in many situations of my life. Sharing the simple story would defeat the purpose of the message behind it, but here is the vague version.
Earlier this week, a friend asked me to do something challenging. “Mystery voice” laughed in my head, due to the task because I knew it would not be challenging. When they told me what it was, I was like, yep, piece of cake. That’ll 4 minutes. However, “mystery voice” was like, well when you are talking about it to them, make sure you slip in the fact that it was easy or only took a few minutes. I don’t care how, as long as you let them know. I almost did several times, but this happens to me often and finally, God got through to me. I reflected and thought, why do you always do this? What purpose will it serve if they know their difficult task was easy. At best it will say, look at me cuz I’m awesome. At worst, it will damage your humility and continue to happen over and over. It was literally painful not to do it, and then once I made that official decision to say no to “mystery voice,” I felt great, and God revealed to me its name. Pride.